Too Many Steves
The other day, I received another email inviting me to become friends on Facebook.
I almost clicked the link and then thought to myself, "Who the hell is Kari?" As I mentioned in my last post, I'm not remembering much these days (though I can totally explain the law of demand for substitute goods or how total revenue increases in an elastic situation). Still I kept trying to place Kari, but just couldn't.
So I cheated. I went on Facebook and looked up her profile. Damn, she goes to GW. Okay, that must be how I know....
Umm wait...I still have no idea who she is.
She's not in my MBA class. She's not even in the MBA class before me. CRAP, she's an undergrad. In fact, she was born in 1986...when I was an undergrad. I need to end this, but I feel bad for her.
Kari, listen..I'm old enough to be your dad. And although you think I'm totally hot, sadly I'm gay so it's just not going to happen between us. I have a partner and a son. I just don't think we could make it work with all that going on. Sure, it's easy to fall for this burning hunk of MBA, but there will be other guys out there for you...younger... and well, straighter. But I'm touched by your infatuation.
As I'm looking at her profile, I notice the following:
Kari and Steve C. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen E. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen L. are now friends.
Kari and Steve A. are now friends.
Kari and Steve H. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen M. are now friends.
Kari and Steve F. are now friends.
Kari and Steve N. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen G. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen G. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen B. are now friends.
Kari and Steven D. are now friends.
Kari and Steve C. are now friends.
Kari and Steven H. are now friends.
Kari and Steve H. are now friends.
Kari and Steven K. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen C. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen M. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen R. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen N. are now friends.
Kari and Steve I. are now friends.
Two things are running through my head at this point. First, I'm not quite the only "Steve" she seems be after. And second, this girl is going to have no problem getting a lot of dates her last year of college.
However Kari, it'd be a good idea to at least check the ages of all your "Steves." I think your dad would shit his pants to see you have Facebook friends who are older than he is.
Kari Stuttin added you as a friend on Facebook.
I almost clicked the link and then thought to myself, "Who the hell is Kari?" As I mentioned in my last post, I'm not remembering much these days (though I can totally explain the law of demand for substitute goods or how total revenue increases in an elastic situation). Still I kept trying to place Kari, but just couldn't.
So I cheated. I went on Facebook and looked up her profile. Damn, she goes to GW. Okay, that must be how I know....
Umm wait...I still have no idea who she is.
She's not in my MBA class. She's not even in the MBA class before me. CRAP, she's an undergrad. In fact, she was born in 1986...when I was an undergrad. I need to end this, but I feel bad for her.
Kari, listen..I'm old enough to be your dad. And although you think I'm totally hot, sadly I'm gay so it's just not going to happen between us. I have a partner and a son. I just don't think we could make it work with all that going on. Sure, it's easy to fall for this burning hunk of MBA, but there will be other guys out there for you...younger... and well, straighter. But I'm touched by your infatuation.
As I'm looking at her profile, I notice the following:
Kari and Steve C. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen E. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen L. are now friends.
Kari and Steve A. are now friends.
Kari and Steve H. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen M. are now friends.
Kari and Steve F. are now friends.
Kari and Steve N. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen G. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen G. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen B. are now friends.
Kari and Steven D. are now friends.
Kari and Steve C. are now friends.
Kari and Steven H. are now friends.
Kari and Steve H. are now friends.
Kari and Steven K. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen C. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen M. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen R. are now friends.
Kari and Stephen N. are now friends.
Kari and Steve I. are now friends.
Two things are running through my head at this point. First, I'm not quite the only "Steve" she seems be after. And second, this girl is going to have no problem getting a lot of dates her last year of college.
However Kari, it'd be a good idea to at least check the ages of all your "Steves." I think your dad would shit his pants to see you have Facebook friends who are older than he is.
posted by Steve at
5:31:00 PM
9 Comments:
It's the Tao of Steve, now on Facebook.
At least you let her down easy.
I've been having Facebook/Linked-In disconnect issues. Facebook is for my pals, Linked-In is for my work.
Tell me, Doctor; should I feel bad for ignoring all the Facebook requests I get from people I know via work but with whom I shall never, ever be friends?
Wow, a Steve fetish. There must be a Facebook group she could join for that.
Damn, I was going to do the whole Steve Fetish gag. Now I am left without a witty comment.
Damn you Darren! Damn your eyes!
But it is nice just to be considered, isn't it?
That reminds me of the "Kids in the Hall" song, 'These are the Daves I know'.
Dear, Kari,
My name is Steve CroutonBoy, and I'll be your friend. I also have 342 friends named Kari...join my network!
Psst, Steve. I'm trying to pimp my food blog. (If I'm a total hag for putting this comment in, feel free to delete. If, instead, you want to sing my praises sometime, that would be equally great. www.erinseasyeats.com
- Erin (the one who used to work w/ the mommies)
Some guy named Travis who I didn't know tried to add me as a friend. I looked at his profile and realized that all of his other friends were named Travis. I guess he was on a quest to friend every Travis on Facebook.
I'm Henry the Eighth I am. Henry the Eighth I am I am...
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