Wednesday, May 13, 2009

First Class?

Dear Post Office,

Let me be blunt; I hate you. I've written before about how stupid you are. It amazes me you are able to stay in business, except that you really have no competition. I can only hope that the Internet makes you so obsolete that you go out of business.

Last year you screwed me with your Automatic Postage Machine. Being so excited not to deal with your personnel, I used if for every transaction possible. In February 2008, when I went to buy 100 stamps for work, it issued Christmas stamps. Quite obviously, I couldn't use them for business given that our all customers are not Christian. When I asked to exchange them, you told me you were unable to take back previously issued merchandise. And the supervisor agreed with you. Stupid people.

I sell books on and most of that goes out media mail. Each time, I tell you "It's media mail; just a book." And every time you ask "Is there anything dangerous, liquid or perishable?" as if I'm dumber than a ficus tree. One time I even said "Just a shovel" and you went about your business without batting an eye. Useless Robot.

Today you told me that I could no longer use my credit card to purchase anything because I hadn't signed it. It says "Please check ID" on the back and I hand you my driver's license each time. "Where am I supposed to sign it?" I asked, pointing out there was no room left in the signature block. You shrugged your shoulders. Clearly uttering words was too much work.

I'm tired of you punishing me for doing business with you. I pay you and you treat me as if I'm causing you an inconvenience. You want inconvenience...fine.

I'll pay the entire bill in nickles from now on. I'll ask you about every delivery option available just so you have to talk for 10 minutes. I wish I could fart into the package and make you smell it behind that bullet-proof glass.

Good luck with this mail thing. I'm paying most bills online. Magazine & Newspapers can be received other ways. FedEx and UPS are getting cheaper.

You get from people what you give. I hope people put you out of business faster than you can say 'Forever Stamp'.


Blogger Mrs. Chili said...

"You get from people what you give."

Oh, how I wish more people understood THAT!

I can practically FEEL your frustration here, Steve; having to deal with an incompetent organization, when that's really the ONLY choice you have, is beyond infuriating.

Let me know how that farting thing goes...

1:57 PM  
Blogger Bacchus said...

Amen Sister! There is nothing I hate more than having to go to the post office. Last year we had a package go missing and I talked to the post man, the supervisor and the supervisor's supervisors about the missing package. The dumb butt delivery person forgot he left it with a neighbor! No apologies, no oops just a stare like I had done something wrong by pointing out his error and forgetfulness.

I love UPS and the cute shorts.

5:04 PM  
Anonymous ShotgunDaddy said...

Well said. Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when Kramer tries to stop receiving mail altogether. Watch that they don't drag you in to talk to the Postmaster General...

3:31 AM  
Anonymous Steven (Green Dads) said...

Many years ago I worked for the PO. There were management practices related to employees you would not believe. It was a very oppressive place to work, the money and benefits are decent and I think that's the only thing that kept me there for 7 years.

7:28 AM  

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