Saturday, October 10, 2009

Type Casting

We are out of town visiting friends and they have two girls that are Corey's age. The kids get along well and play all day long. Yesterday, Corey comes running in the room.

Corey: "Daddy, I need to the Ninetendo DS."
Me: "I think it is on the table in the family room. But you shouldn't be playing your DS when you are all playing together."
Corey: "No, it's okay. We're playing house."
Me: "I don't understand. Why do you need need the DS?"

Corey: "I'm playing the daddy so I need to be on the computer."

SIGH.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

A Word From Our Sponsors

Learning comes in many different forms.

I love how inquisitive Corey is becoming. We no longer get the annoyingly vauge "but why?" questions. Instead, they are thoughtful and show a clear grasp of trying to solve problems.

One of our favorite movies is Herbie Fully Loaded. I will always be partial to the first Herbie, but Michael Keaton and Matt Dillon are great. We have easily watched this movie 50 times.

This weekend, Corey was watching the cars race around the track and asked, "How come that car says Home Depot on it?"

Good question, I thought. I paused the movie and explained that companies sponsor the drivers. By giving money to the racers, the companies could then put their names and logos on the cars.

He thought this was way cool. "So when it says Quaker State and Cheetos...those companies gave money to them?"

I answered affirmatively and suggested he look for the other names on the cars.

We found Du Pont, Nextel, Loews...

"What's that one, daddy?"
"Umm, that would be Viagra."

He then asked, "What do they sell?"
I thought for a moment. "Assistance."

Hey Disney, thanks for that teachable moment.

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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Life according to LucasFilms

Our conversation in the car today...

Corey: "How did Michael Jackson die?"
Me: "He died in his sleep."
Corey: "Was he sick?"
Me: "He was taking some medications so he may not have been feeling well."

(Pause)

Corey: "But he died in his sleep?"
Me: "Yep."
Corey: "Cool. That's just like Yoda."

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Saturday, August 15, 2009

Why I Love Viriginia

Because you can buy your gun safe at Costco...right next to your Graco Pack-n-play and the Eddie Bauer car seat.


Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Rite of Passage

This weekend, I finally succumbed to a tradition in parenting I thought just perhaps, the Good Lord would help me avoid: The Chuck E Cheese Party.

Corey has been invited to a few in the past but his moms always took him to those. This year, for his 7th birthday party, he wanted to return the favor. It's like Vegas, Branson and Denny's all crammed into one germ-infested petri dish.

It went smoother than I expected, but then again, my responsiblities consisted of showing up on time. The first hour was games, then 15 minutes of consuming as much pizza, cake, ice cream and soda as possible before returning to the games. Truthfully, eating that quickly and returning to the games threw me into a major sugar rush. My scores were WAY off compared to the first hour.

I think there should be a rule much like swimming that you need to wait one hour before entering the game zone.

That being said, I won over 200 tickets and only pissed off one kid who clearly should have seen I was on a streak and NOT asked to play my Street Hoops game. I'm fairly certain I will not be allowed back.

For all the shit I give Chuck E Cheese, it is an amazing factory of organized crap. How smart to plan 5 parties at once and then only have one rat in costume? Brilliant.

However, my one question is the bathroom designs. The only urinal in the place is about 3 inches off the ground. Not so easy on dad, who consumed 6 diet cokes during the three hours and then had to stand two feet back just to actually hit porcelain.

But then someone installs the paper towels 5 feet off the floor. Seriously? How dumb is that?

Clearly another reason I wasn't about to share my Street Hoops game with some kid who has wet hands.

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Blogging Fathers

Three years ago, I was asked to become part of a fine group of men that I highly respect. I had been blogging for over a year and was beginning to make friends with my fellow writers. One day, Matthew emailed and said I was being invited to become a Blogfather. It opened a whole world for me; developing both friendships and skills.

With my own blog, I was careful in my posts, but becoming a Blogfather...well, there was a greater need to craft the stories and put special attention towards my writing. After all, this was big time and I was going to be read by many people I had long since admired.

Some of those posts were probably the best things I'd even written. They come from a place that few people can get to in normal conversations. But with writing, you expose a part of yourself that most don't really get to see. I even received a Perfect Post nomination for one of them. There is no great feeling that your writing inspires, elates or moves someone.

I was pretty active on the site until school started two years ago. Hell, if you still read Hygiene Chronicles (given my lack of posting there), you should know that I did practically nothing at Blogfathers. Well, it seems no one posted there. I visited the site the other day and noticed it's not longer live.

Luckily, I had saved copies of the posts and will put them on my site over the weekend. (If you use RSS feeds, my apologies for 'reposting'. )

Until then, here are my favorite posts from Blogfathers. Enjoy.

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

World's Colliding

Three weeks ago today we moved into the new house. In some ways, it feels like yesterday; in others, it feels like we've always lived here. I'm amazed at how easy it feels to call this place home.

Luckily, almost everything fits and we find that this house allows many pieces of furniture and paintings to be showcased even better. A living room couch that was never used is now in the family room right in front of the TV. Things fit even better into these cabinets. And the master bedroom closets ROCK!

What's more...we love Virginia. We love being close to Corey, we love the conveniences of having so many stores close by and Larry loves the short drive to work. Seeing our friends has never been so convenient.

And we love our neighbors. Since this is a brand new street of houses, everyone is moving in fresh. There is no 'old man Withers' who terrorizes the neighborhood because he's lived here since Moses was a child. We are all going through the same difficulties associated with moving. We're all reaching out and helping one another.

But for some of us, we are connected even more.

Today, Facebook sends me an email because I've been tagged in an old picture by one of Corey's mom. This woman writes to the mom, "Ummm, I think your son's dads are my new neighbors."

Sure enough, she used to work with the mom and now we live on the same street. So we Facebook each other.

Then she writes me. "Facebook says we both know Sarah. How do you know her?"

I write back "Well, she & I met blogging. She writes a fabulously funny blog and we connected because I write the Hygiene Chronicles."

Immediate the email responds. "HOLY CRAP. I've read you at Blogfathers. I'm Lummpyhead's mom."

I could not love this street anymore.