Friday, May 06, 2005

It's the cheesiest!

Like everyone else, we’ve been trying to eat healthier these days. Increased fish and produce; less cookies and fast foods. Larry serves more vegetables at our dinners (yes, he cooks) and I continue experimenting with completely radical food choices. We are now eating Pad Thai with Tofu every other week.

Although its packaging resembles a silicon breast implant, Tofu is a pretty decent food. Honestly, it’s all about the marinating. If done right and served with enough complimentary foods, you can barely tell you’re eating something that didn’t breathe.

Another thing I’ve been doing to improve our health is switching out the normal supermarket foods for healthier versions from Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. We substituted Trader Joe’s Spanish rice for the old Rice-a-Roni. Whole Foods veggie chips reside in our pantry instead of Tostitos.

Two weeks ago, I ventured in the world oxy-moronic quest of finding healthier Mac & Cheese. Now I love this shit; seriously it’s my chocolate, my porn, my Vicodin (just trying to cover all possible obsessions). In aisle 2 of Trader Joes (there are only 4 aisles) you can now find All Natural Macaroni & Cheese. One would think that just by the name, I should be worried. And yet as a Director of Marketing, I fell for their creative advertising and took the box home.

For the record, there are two camps in the Mac & Cheese; powdered cheese or Velveeta. I am in the second camp. I love that it already is a cheese (as much as Velvetta is) as opposed to having to “create” your cheese by adding milk & butter. How can cheese be created that easily? Plus, the powder always coagulates and never blends the way it should. Unfortunately, my new All Natural Cheese is powdered based. I sigh and overcome my general disappointment.

As I’m boiling the noodles and creating my cauldron, I read box back of my new healthy alternative in cheese-based side dishes. I stand there mystified. There are TWO Nutrition Facts charts.

TWO? How can there be freaking two?

Trader Joe’s has put nutrition information based on whether the product is served cooked ... OR DRY? Yes seriously ... Dry!

Is it just me or would people ACTUALLY eat this food dry? I’m puzzled as I begin creating my cheese.

Can you honestly serve this to your two kids and saying that Bobby can crack his teeth on dried pasta while Susie sucks down some cheese powder? Eat up kids, because you are getting 10% of the recommended daily allowance of Calcium.

(And by the way, the scariest fact is that adding the milk and butter to the sauce only increases the calcium by another 5%!)

I curse as the powder congeals and my saturated fat level increased 27% because I chose the other method of eating this product: Cooked!

I’m going back to my Velveeta.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too am guilty of the sinful pleasure that is mac & cheese. Velveeta rules!! I am also guilty of making homemade mac & cheese which should be renamed cheese with a few noodles.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Steve said...

Viva Velveeta!

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

they make light velveeta these days. i have to admit, it's not the same, but you still get the cheesy sauce velveeta is known for.

9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

have you ever tried the kraft 3 cheese...it's still powdered but it's shell noodles and for some reason that seems to make all the difference.

4:23 PM  

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