Thursday, May 17, 2007

Random Nothings

My modem at home conked out. It kept phasing in and out for a few weeks. All of sudden I wouldn't have Internet access and there would be a screen saying "you have a billing error". First, I yelled at Larry since he's in charge of this bill, but he proved it was being paid. So I would reboot and connect again.

Yesterday morning...nothing. Yesterday night...still nothing. So at 6:00 AM this morning, I called customer service (oxymoron) and after waiting 35 minutes, connected to a person who was able to tell me the problem. We tested everything including creating a new password. He actually wanted me to wake up Larry since "it is Verizon policy to only reveal the password to the primary account holder." I first explained that Larry doesn't even have his own log-in and could do nothing with a new password. Then I explained that I was Larry's partner.

"Partner in what?" he asked.

God help me.

"Partner like as in a wife, but I'm a man." Get it? (I almost said 'like a wife, but with a penis', however 35 minutes is a long time to wait for another tech person.)

"Oh.......I see," he responded.

After 25 minutes, he tells me that the modem is broken. "I can see that through our network."

I sighed heavily. "Ummm... if you can see that through your system, couldn't you be proactive and email or call me to let me know it was broken? Then you could just order me another one."

"No, sir. You'd have to order one through the billing department. Here's their number but they don't open until 9 AM."

Verizon, you could have a monopoly if you only had thinking people.

Moving Out
Our office moves tomorrow so as of Monday, I'll be in the same building I was back with Imagine. This time I'll actually have an office with a window, but I still feel like I need to do another exorcism. The last one I did was with Jennie and Penzy spices. This one might just kick off with bagels and orange juice.

This new building also has a fitness center. I'm going to definitely be hitting that....for at least the first week or so.

Getting the Boot
Melinda Doolittle voted off? Another reason why I'm glad I stopped watching American Idol this season. (OK, I did watch LaKisha's and Melinda's performances on YouTube the next day. Sue me.) I'm just getting tired of America being so stupid.

We Finally Meet
Due to the move, I'm only working a few hours tomorrow. And then... I have lunch with Sarah. It's like meeting a legend.

Don't look for much from me this weekend. With no modem or office, I'm destined to be at coffee shops or stealing wireless from the neighbors.

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Blogger Mamma said...

Exorcisms are always better with food.

Have fun at lunch! I'm jealous. Will you be downtown? I'll wave across the river from my office.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Whit said...

like a wife with a penis, that's classic

tell Sarah hi!

8:56 PM  
Blogger Papa Bradstein said...

Agh. Verizon. I just said a little incantation over our modem so that reading this post won't jinx us too.

And have a fun lunch, you blogging rock star.

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

A legend? Now how am I supposed to live up to that?

8:25 AM  
Blogger georgia said...

oh, Imagine...had a dream about that place last night...the end result was hugging the loo at 3 AM.

"like a wife, with a penis" - coffee came up my nose on that it

10:05 AM  
Blogger Mitch McDad said...

If I was drinking milk it would have shot out of my nose after I read this line: "Partner like as in a wife, but I'm a man." Outstanding.

7:55 PM  

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