Love Is...

I came downstairs this morning and woke Larry at 6:00. I had class today so I had to help him with breakfast and exercises before leaving at 7:30.

ME: Wake up, babe.
HIM: Good morning. Happy Anniversary.
(He knew this after I corrected him yesterday that it wasn't our anniversary that morning.)
ME: Thanks. you too.

(Pause)

HIM: Did you get me anything?
ME: I emptied the piss bucket next to your walker, how's that?
HIM: Ummmm...okay I guess. I'm sorry I couldn't get you anything.
ME: That's okay; I took one of your Percoset last night. Consider us even.

Happy 17th! May we have the gift of prescription drugs only once.

My Heart Will Go On

One October, our friends had come over for dinner. It was one of those perfect fall days where the kids ran in and out of the house as the adults prepared the meal.

As the people were putting out all the condiments, plates, and such, our friend Kevin looked over at the wall. Back then, we used to get wild looking calendars. I can't remember what the theme happened to be that year, but it definitely caught Kevin's eye.

As he looked at the calendar, he called out to Larry. "Hey, this day has a heart on it? What does that mean?"

"Oh, that's our anniversary. Steve puts stickers on that day so I remember."

As I walked back in, Kevin called out to me. "Hey buddy, great idea with the stickers on the calendar."

I look puzzled. Kevin explained the conversation the two of them had as Larry came back into the room. I looked at Larry.

"You dumbass. Why did you tell him that was our anniversary?"

"Isn't our anniversary in October?"

"It is. But those stickers are the reminders for the dogs' heart worm medicine."

Happy Anniversary, to the man who could look at a sticker every month and just think it means our anniversary.

PS Heartguard has since changed their stickers to look like this. Was it because someone wrote them and told them this story? I'm not telling.

I'd do it all again

15 years. In the gay world, that's like a Golden Anniversary. Regardless, I'd say is pretty darn good.

15 years ago today, we went on our first date. Pizzaria Uno, a movie and a little kiss at the end of night. Who knew it would lead to a blog entry 15 years later?

Today we celebrate the fortune of two paths crossing. No one would have ever given it more than a few weeks, but we prove that opposites truly do attract. You looked past my inability to match a belt with shoes. I saw past a refrigerator filled with a bottle of Absolute and soy sauce packets.

Lives become integrated and symbiotic. Each person fills the others weaknesses. You make the bed, fix the car and fold the socks. I take out the garbage, wash the dishes and change the lightbulbs.

New experiences made the relationship fun and laughable. You taught me about heated car seats, that real shoes cost more than $30 and the joy of business class. I taught you about 80's metal, jello, and green bean casseroles. OK, not the most even of trades, mind you, but I did discover the Aveda products.

We've made it through a lot of things:
The Good: Fatherhood, buying our house, Paris, Norstrom's half yearly sale
The Bad: your mom's passing, a heart attack, your cigar habit, visits to my mom's, the kitchen renovation
and The Ugly: community theater (so very sorry about that phase).

We celebrate today the way we met 15 years ago; with dinner. However, 15 years ago I didn't wake up next to you the next day. I'm glad I get to do that tomorrow.

Happy Anniversary, Pop-pop.

Happy Anniversary...to me

Sometimes when we write, we get into personal things. This is one of these posts.

Today is my anniversary. Not from when I met Larry. That will be in a few days. Eighteen years ago today… I stopped drinking.

So there, it’s out there. Yes, I am an alcoholic.

This disease rages through my mom’s side of our family and I was lucky one to inherit it in my immediate family. Blessed by a slightly compulsive nature, it’s too easy for me to caught up in things, be they habits, collections or drinking.

I was only 21 when I decided to quit. I went to college in Ohio which at that time had a 19 year drinking age. To say that I had fully immersed myself into the happy hour scene would be an understatement. I’d been drinking since I was 17, and it got progressively worse at an early age.

My drinking was hard and fast. Happy hour by 4:00 pm, downing three 48oz Long Island Ice Teas. Home drunk by 6:00. Vomit by 7. In bed by 8. Next morning… was fine. Not a pretty life but it was what I enjoyed. But I paid the price.

That Fall, I ran for Social Chair of my service fraternity and lost. Rumor was that most people didn’t think I’d stay sober through the events. Then came homecoming weekend.

Thirty-six hours of non-stop drinking. Followed by 24 hours of the DT’s. My roommate Kevin, helped me deal with that Monday. That night, he said I had to deal with a lot more.

The writing of what my life was to be was on the wall. I had to choose. So I quit…just like that.

I had great friends who stood by my side. They organized events that avoided alcohol. They kept me occupied enough to not even notice the absence of liquor. And they listened as I discussed my frustrations with my drinking.

The hardest thing I’ve done was stay dry. It’s a tough explanation to college buddies of why I couldn't drink anymore. And if one more person asks if I’m Mormon, I’ll laugh.

But I’m happy and safe. And frankly, you are too. (I wasn’t the safest or nicest drunk.)

So while this isn’t the funniest post, it was important to write. I know it’s a little self-indulgent, but I think in this case… it’s allowed.