There's Something about Mary Corey

My son hit a huge milestone this week. As many of you remember, Corey stood and peed the other week. A great sense of accomplishment despite the fact he rested his hands on the toilet bowl the entire time. My friend Nicole was kind enough to mention that we should invest in some Potty Mitts . Wow, it amazes me what people will think of next.

But this weekend, something even bigger occurred. He took a piss in his first urinal. The boy has now become the man. Pretty soon he’ll be cutting farts on the couch as he watches football…or in our house, watching ‘How to Design your Rock Garden Oasis.’

I could not have been more proud of the boy. Truthfully, I was bit dishonest in telling him that all the sit down potties were broken, but he didn’t seem to mind when we walked up to the urinal and began our business.

For you estrogen-blog readers, let me explain that most bathrooms now come equipped with a lowered urinal. Designed for youngsters and midgets people of short stature, these ingenious devices sit about a foot off the ground and allow for, how should we say it, a 'dangle-free' zone.

This being Corey’s first time, he didn’t quite get the positioning. While I was working to make sure the drops all landed in the porcelain and not in the pants, he was fascinated by the echo you can make when you stick your entire head inside the device and scream, “Hello?”

I still call the day a success. He peed in the urinal and not a drop on the pants. However, I knew we had still some work, for when we left the bathroom, Larry looked at us and said, “Did you gel his hair back? It’s all wet.”

Abiguity works wonders. “Nope,” I said. “He did that all by himself.”