Playing Second Fiddle

So Monday, we are off. How cool is that? My first six days of this job I’ve had half a day devoted to a failed jury duty and now the office is closed on Monday for President’s Day. Sadly, I really do have to have to go in and spend time cleaning out my new cube (and while a cube, it’s three times the six of my last cube). Why can’t people do that for you before you begin a new job? My first day, I open up a drawer and there are cough drops, contact lens solution and a half tissue packet.

PEOPLE, these are not things that need to transfer to the next person. Pens, a stapler, perhaps even a mouse pad can be left behind for the next person, but not items like this. Take them with you. (For the record, I actually take all my supplies from job to job. Good thing too, because this jack-hole took the staple, the calculator and the tape dispenser.)

So I got to thinking about this holiday on Monday. Besides the fact that Hechts will again invite me to their “One Day Only” Sale — which won’t occur again until Friday — what the heck is this day all about? Presidents, yeah I get that, but which ones? Not all of them right? I mean only the really good ones.

And by really good ones, are we referring only to the ones from so long ago that no one even knows if they were good or not? There were no Kitty Kelly’s 100 years ago. So of course Washington, Adams & Jefferson looked great. Lincoln would probably be in that group as well except for those new insinuations that he spent some time on Brokeback Mountain. Then there are all those guys in between like 1830 and 1980 that I really don’t remember; Truman, Ben Franklin, John Hancock… seriously, I don’t need to know any of them until Corey hits third grade and we have to do some stupid diorama out a shoebox.

SEGUE HERE: How lucky is this kid to have gay dads helping on the diorama? This thing will be velvet lined and have brushed nickel hardware holding it together. Abe Lincoln’s log cabin will feature patterned wallpaper in the living room and Ralph Lauren paint gracing the foyer.

So why celebrate Presidents? They have four good years, or not so good, and then retire to write book, build a library and have secret service follow them around for the rest of their lives.

Here’s a thought… why not create Vice President’s Day? Instead of a day off, we could have a Twister Sister concert with the Gores. Or a spelling bee in honor of Dan Quayle. Maybe a hunting trip. Huh, Quayle and quail. There’s a bit of irony for you.

Larry said I should be grateful for the day off, but seriously, when have you known me to rest on my thoughts...or be grateful for that matter. If there’s a thought that doesn’t make sense to me, I must blog about it.

So Monday, I will celebrate a President. I think several Andrew Jacksons and I shall go to the mall and amuse ourselves at Pottery Barn and zGallerie.