Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Hip Fairy

There is an old fable that's been told through the years. When little boys have had a successful hip replacement surgery, you are supposed to take the old hip and put it under your pillow. Then that evening, the hip fairy takes the hip and replaces it with a shiny new quarter.

Aside from the new quarter, the great news is that Larry had hip-replacement surgery today and came through with flying colors. Instead of being 2 hours, the whole procedure was less than 90 minutes. He was in recovery for a couple of hours and then in his room by 2:00 PM. After a few days of physical therapy, he’ll be home by Friday.

There is nothing more joyous than when a loved one is brought into their hospital room to see waiting family. Additionally, the conversations are utterly hysterical as the anesthesia wears off.

L: Why does my mouth taste all funny?
S: Because you were eating a piece of bread.
L: That shouldn’t taste so weird.
S: You fell asleep with it in before swallowing. It’s been slowly melting for 20 minutes.

(I was adjusting his blankets while he was sleeping. He suddenly woke up.)
L: What are you doing?
S: Adjusting your blankets to keep you warm.
L: I’m naked under here.
S: Yes, I know.
L: Are you trying to see me naked?
S: Yes Larry, this whole cutting your hip out was an excuse to see you naked.

(The nurse was changing his IV.)
L: Steve, what time are you leaving tonight?
S: Probably around 6:30 , after traffic slows down.
L: OK, be sure to…SNORE
Nurse: Sorry, sometime patients stop mid-sentence like that.
S: Ma'am, that’s been happening for 16 years. I’m totally used to it

Here’s realizing we love them all the time; though they are WAY more fun on a morphine drip.



Blogger Mamma said...

The hubs just had neck surgery this summer. Sounds very familiar.

Don't forget to leave a quarter under his pillow. Oh and I usually leave a trail of pink glittery body powder to make it more convincing.

11:27 PM  
Blogger Bacchus said...

I'm glad his surgery came out ok. I was thinking about him in the afternoon. Right up til class then..

Pink body glitter? Steve, isn't that in your bed all the time?

12:01 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chili said...

First of all, a big sigh of relief that everything went well.

Second, bwahahahaha! Yes, Larry - this was all a big plot so your husband could see you naked. Sheesh!

Third, screw the quarter; I say that the hip fairy should leave a bottle of tequila....

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Green Dads said...

Glad to hear everything turned out well!


5:47 PM  
Blogger georgia said...

I'm so happy to hear he pulled through so well. Here's to a speedy recovery!

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Aimee said...

I am so glad everything went as well as it could. I would love to drop off food for the patient & nurse once Larry is out of the hospital. xo, Aimee

5:09 PM  
Blogger Lola and Ava said...

Wait, the man had to have a hip replaced just so you could see him naked? What is this world coming to?

Glad everything went well. The Other Sister had her hip replaced a year ago and she is doing so well with the newbie.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Papa Bradstein said...

Glad to hear that all's well in Hipville. Mama's been asking but with the imminent bathroom-demolition-requiring-household-evacuation, I haven't done much reading recently. Now we can set a date for that limbo party we were planning.

12:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Better than my mom's husband...prior to his 2nd hip surgery recently, he was taking so many Hydrocodone a day that he just passed out any time he sat down.

Not funny at all!

"Hey you wanna go with me and the boys to the...hey! Are you awake?..."

9:57 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home