We Don't Need No Stinking Cheerios!
Corey likes to pee sitting down. Given the fact he waits until the bladder is about to explode, that gives me 35 seconds to find the bathroom, hit the stall, wipe down anything that looks nasty, try to put some sort of paper barrier down, and get down the trousers and some pair of Elmo underwear.
Non-parents, you have no idea how hard those things are to pull down in a hurry. Think about putting a condom on a watermelon and you have an idea of how tight they get in an emergency crisis.
A few months ago, Corey learned about privacy and now wants doors shut. Do you know how hard it is to cram two of you into a stall, maneuver the working of a dirty toilet and undo snaps on a four year olds pants? Plus, no matter how fast you are, the kid always has two free hands while you are pulling up the pants, and they always will touch the bowl or the seat or the tank.
And kids love to be the flusher. I’ve lived with the fact that he wants to touch everything. My challenge now is that I have him hold his hand up in the air until we hit the sink. That backfired one time when it conflicted with the “cover your mouth with you sneeze” rule. You don’t even want to know what he did that time.
Since Corey lives primarily with his moms, it’s been a struggle to get him to pee standing up. When he comes to our house, he is called in to watch us pee almost as much as he watches 101 Dalmatians. The other day, I almost yelled at Larry for peeing by himself until I realized Corey wasn’t at our house.
So today, as I took Corey to go pee, I repeated the standard line once again, “Let’s go pottie standing up.” He looked up and said, “Okay.”
And my 3½ year grabbed his thing and aimed. (Okay, not really aimed, but it was close.) Every bit went into the bowl.
I beamed down and said, “Corey that’s great. Now shake.”
He looked up, smiled and then jiggled his whole body up & down.
Lesson #2 comes next week, I guess.